Tapo ed

Ten years back…
Propositions indecent and otherwise galore...
I would be fresh out of high school; learning how to lounge without a timetable and a bell to remind me of what to do. Received a marriage proposal from an ordained pastor who thought I was the right material at his side as he conquered souls: mine soul (body included). And another from a lady friend of my mom’s who saw a lovely woman in me for her son; No offence meant but I thought can’t I just wait to see the world a little am still to young for this kind of thing;
Wrote my first letter to the editor and got published nice feeling the bug caught on…

5 years back…
Undergrad received the powers to read and do all that pertains to it…still have nightmares of sitting in a gown in the scorching sun why doesn’t anybody ever think of making a canopy for the students as well as the professors? The most stressful time ever in my life too many things happening at the same time. Definitely not fond memories.
Got my first full time jobo out of school with the greatest bosses of all time
Je te remercie vivement pour toujours Monsieur K.

2 years ago
My littlest bundle of joy arrived

1 year ago…
Changed bosses for the third time..
Baby turned one

Yesterday…
Asked myself questions
“Where I am headed right now do I like the path I have taken?”
“Am I really happy?”

5 places I’d love to be in right now…
Somewhere I know I should not even think of being but I wish for… A girl can dream can’t she?
Paris
Accra
Mombasa by the ocean
The countryside any where away from this city in the madness.

If I had a million, I would…
Could I kindly have dollars please?
Finish paying for my house
Invest the change.

5 greatest joys…
-Waking up in the morning to find my body parts entangled between the two most special people in my life; makes waking up tricky because they hold on for dear life.
-A cleared desk on Friday at 3.00pm which means I can leave at leisure.
-Creamy fruity chocolate yoghurt.
-Little fingers tweaking my nose to wake me up and even littler’ eyes twinkling with laughter when I do open my eyes.
-A 30minute phone call about zilch in the middle of the day then I remember what I had intended to say and call back to say it; maybe I am really losing it this time.
-Talking late into the night about things I am passionate about.
I know they are supposed to be five but are you really counting *smile* grin*

5 Pet Peeves
Politicians
Celebrities
Prophets of doom and gloom
The clueless who do not know we share this planet and if you screw it, you do so for everyone. Including yourself.
Politickians to whom everything needs “a consensus on the contentious issues.” I feel like throwing up any time anyone uses these phrases. “and stakeholders”.!!!

Victims after me
Gishungwa
Shiro
Akinyio

100 Truths … and some

1.I love chocolate so much so I try to control the intake by only eating that given to me by someone I like. Found out this works as my body thanks me.
2.My real name is Christine
3.I love intensely and thoroughly and never have looked back once my feelers were not returned.
4.I am extremely shy but you would never know it by talking to me.
5.I am a country girl at heart.
6.I love hearing birds in the morning and the roar of the river next to our home when it rains. It brings images of God stirring the storm he made.
7.I have met people I disliked at the first instance for no particular reason and they have proven me right in not being good people.
8.I am psychic. I have several times foreseen things in a semi waking state only for them to happen as I had imagined.
9.It is a very scary experience as you have no control over it.
10.I think am pretty smart though we are still working on the rough edges.
11.Music is my first love.
12.I read copiously.
13.I am terrified of getting to know new people. Not for any other reason than they might not accept me. Even old ones I keep at an arms length. Insecurity? Dunno
14.I am a sucker for candlelit dinners and chamber music.
15.Contrary to perceptions I am not a high maintenance woman.
16.I rarely wear make-up
17.I go clubbing mainly to dance not to meet new people.
18.I’ve never had a one night stand.
19.I have a thing about older men. All the ones I have been attracted to romantically or otherwise have been 7 plus years older.
20.I always make direct eye contact when talking to people. Others misinterpret this as a stare.
21.I love chicken… and chips.
22.I have eaten zebra, camel and antelope meat. And loved it
23.Am scared of wall geckos even more than I am of snakes.
24.I love my hubby, dearly and would make the same choice if I had to again.
25.I have a crush on a very good friend. The years make it get worse and this is not what the wise one say about crushes.
26.I love lying on my back watching the clouds and wondering where they are going.
27.I have never lost my sense of wonder and still in awe over little things like chicks when they have just hatched.
28.I can milk a cow.
29.I would love to keep a cat though my significant other would have none of it.
30.I love to make things with my hands, crotchet, sew, mould clay, paper figures even gardening.
31.I wanted to be a spy when I grew up; CIA, MI5 any offers??
32.I am generally a very happy optimistic person. Nothing successfully gets me down, not for long anyway.
33.I talk to myself constantly, there is always a conversation going on in my head about various things.
34.This way I find solutions to things bothering me without having a consultant of any sort.
36.I hate clutter, which makes me a difficult person to live with as I have to clean up even late in the night.
37.I cannot imagine sleeping in a disorderly room.
38.I hate going to dirty places especially in Nairobi.
39.I enjoy my own company immensely and love to dance naked in the bathroom. Of course no one but me dearest and nearest know this and would never tell..
40.The ideal holiday for me would be me, the beach and some sunshine.
41.I prefer sitting on the floor to the couch.
42.I believe I have done well for someone with my set of circumstances.
43.I would like to live to be sixty years and no more.
44.I am a firstborn and have had thoughts twenty years older for as long as I can remember.
45.And a Virgo
46.I call my mother and father every once a week without fail.
47.I always thought my parents preferred my younger brother to me.
48.Turns out I was wrong.
49.I have a favorite sister. She was born when I was eight years old and I was the first to hold her when she was brought from the hospital. We have been mistaken for each other which is a compliment to me *smile*.
50.I do not look my age.
51.I have a dimple on my left cheek. Someone would love to use it as a measure for alcoholic drinks instead of the normal tot.
53.I enjoy listening to my 2 yr old son talk even when he does not make any sense.
54.I feel we have communicated though I cannot tell a third person what we were saying together.
55.I love cooking.
56.Mostly I express myself very well but when emotionally agitated cannot form a single coherent phrase; leave alone a sentence. This has made me the butt of many jokes.
57.I pray a lot not on my knees but throughout the day I call on God to take care of me.
58.I prefer male doctors to female ones for no reason at all. Yes even gynae’s.
59.I am a manager not a leader.
60.My favorite time of the day is 4.00 am when most are asleep.
61.I exercise regularly to keep fit.
62.I write a lot.
63.I enjoy sleeping alone when I can.
64.I make most decisions with my heart not my head.
65.I think very fast and always with a tinge of humor.
66.I have written a will.
67.I have been described as unbelievably stubborn.
68.I find it unforgivable to misspell someone’s name on emails/letters.
69.Immense wealth does not impress me, I believe in having the necessities and no more.
70.My best friend is man.
71.My best friend in primary school was a boy my age.
72.We would fight over books, and who of the two of us was position one the previous terms swearing to beat him/her.
73.Unfortunately he was hit by a lorry as we were walking together from school and died on the spot.
74.This affected me more than I would like to admit given that I did not understand much at 6 years of age.
75.I skipped nursery school and went straight to class one. 16 years later I was through with school.
76.I do not like the taste of beer, wine and most alcoholic drinks.
77.I would rather be respected than loved.
78.I watch very little TV. I read the program guide before I sit in front of the box.
79.I cry easily mostly for no reason at all.
80.I will never see 25 again.
81.I always wait to hear the other person hang up after a phone call before I do.
82.I wake up with a song in my head. Every single day.
83.If a man am physically attracted to holds my waist, my knees always give way so I try and avoid a situation like this.
84.I love being held, and hugged, and kissed ….. You catch my drift.
85.I had my first kiss at the age of twenty (shock! I know…..)
86.I’m convinced that sexual fulfillment is fundamental for an adult’s happiness male or female.
87.I would rather HE called me than me calling not for any reason, but to satisfy myself that am being thought of …. silly but that’s what I wish for.
88.I hate shopping for shoes and clothes because their designers do not have me in mind.
89.I laugh a lot even in inappropriate places like morgues.
90.I get along very well with my mother-in-law.
91.I find it easy to manage money and rarely overspend.
92.I do not owe any financial institution any money. Except maybe the world bank and IMF but this I had no hand in
93.I aim to be financially independent in my old age.
94.This has been a good year.
95.I will go back to school the next one.
96.I believe I am a woman of strength.
97.I do not own a hanky.
98.I have never physically fought with anyone not even my siblings. I would rather throw things than engage in a tackle.
99.I love wearing boots and trousers.
100.I own very few skirts, five to be precise.
101.Every year I go through my closet and give away clothes I do not wear anymore. This is not so difficult; I have three younger sisters who find my sense of style well… stylish and they take even those I hold dear.
102. I keep a diary of all my expenses
103. I walk a lot.
104. I intend to buy a minivan.
105. I think I am a good judge of character.
106. I detest being referred to as Mama so- and- so especially by people who know my name. Only my baby’s playmates should be doing that!!!

Unload

Disclaimer: This is not a rant though it might come out like one.

I try most of the time to believe the best of everyone. Being the human that I am it has been inevitable that I come across all sorts of others of the same species and some.
I cannot help coming across them because everywhere I go a human pops out of the woodwork and either want to talk to me, get to know me or sell me something

This I do not mind.
Actually I would be deeply troubles if at any one time no one I met acknowledged that I exist and in the process I would be in a terrible state of mind wondering if I really existed or I am a figment of my own imagination as no one seems to see me.

I enjoy anything remotely resembling communication and this includes
- winks
-waves
-hugs
-handshakes
-email even those forwards I have read more than twenty times, as I think the joke churning factory works a little slower than the click of a mouse on send.
-phone calls any time any day I will make time to listen even if for a few seconds.
-letters oh it is so long since I read one any one writing??
-pillow talk late in the night inspired by insomnia and God made chemicals
-banter about the weather and the currect political atmosphere so long as it does not include bananas and oranges
........
My beef here is, there are people who in a situation where they have to make a choice good or bad; with both leading to the same outcome for the person choosing and harming or aiding the recipient of the choice will inadvertently choose badly.

I do not know if that came out correctly so I will start again.

There are two choices A and B
Person Y has to pick one of the two.
A results in harming Person X
B results in the good of person X
In both cases Y will not be affected in any way. No punishment or reward is offered for making either of the two choices. It is mandatory to make this choice.
Would you in the shoes of Y choose A or B?

And therein lies my question.

Are human beings naturally good or evil?
Granted there are reasons for making the choices we make in order to help ourselves materially emotionally or to advance ourselves in the path that we have chosen. Why then do people choose to harm others even when there is nothing in it for them? Is it the innate sadistic nature of the race?

If I have an agreement with you as my friend should we involve a lawyer so that we can both keep our part of the bargain or we can count on the glue of friendship and the trust that comes with it to see it end amicably.
I am not talking about stuff like buying property from each other just simple things like I tell you to take care of my house in my absence and then I come and find you helped yourself to my stuff without consulting me. And have the cheek to tell me, I thought you would not mind. Yet you know me and my idiosyncrasies about someone getting into my things nothing personal; that is just me.
I hate to have to do a double take anytime anyone tells me something and have thoughts like maybe s/he is jus' saying that to /.................fill in the blanks.........../ and despite these many let downs, it still is a beautiful world.
I will still believe that humans are inherently good.

Sunrise ... again

At the start of my new year,
May my right hand always be stretched out in friendship and never in want.
May I always have walls for the winds,
A roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer me, those I love near me, preferably at the time I need them.
And all my heart might desire.

May St. Patrick guard me wherever I go,
and guide me in whatever I do--
and may his loving protection be a blessing to me always.
May the road rise to meet me,
May the wind be always at my back,
May the sun shine warm upon my face, and not cause any damage to my skin
The rains fall soft upon my fields and,
May God hold me in the palm of His hand.
May I have love that never ends, both to give and to receive
lots of money, and lots of friends.
Health be mine, whatever I do,
and may God send many blessings to me!
May the sun shine, all day long,
everything go right, and nothing wrong.
May those I love bring love back to me,
and may all the wishes come true!
May my feet never sweat,
my neighbor give me ne're a treat.
When flowers bloom, I hope I'll not sneeze,
and may I always have someone to squeeze! Preferably of the Martian kind
May my glass be ever full.

May I die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband
And may I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I’m dead.

POVERTY ERADICATION-RADIOACTIVE ENTROPY

poverty
A noun

poverty, poorness, impoverishment

the state of having little or no money and few or no material possessions
Category Tree:
state condition; status
╚poverty, poorness, impoverishment
╚impecuniousness; pennilessness; penuriousness
╚indigence; need; penury; beggary; pauperism; pauperization


The government of Kenya has decided in its wisdom (which has come into question most times) that the above condition has to go and shall only be found with in the borders of our neighbors and friends. It has also accorded us the information that it will cost us 635 MKES.

To study
- level of poverty
- poverty patterns
- poverty distribution
- transportation of poverty
- characteristics of poverty
- elements of poverty
- causes of poverty
- results of poverty
- Any other business poverty is taking part in within our borders.

The Minister in charge of this particular venture was quite irked when someone suggested that the above figure was preposterous to say the least.

Quoth he "Do not tell us the figure is too high, tell us how we can reduce it"

Very well, Monsieur I shall try
The UNDP survey said our living standards are dropping every day. Why don't you have a look at the pages of this report and see what your survey is going to add to it. The studies have been done over the years and I think there are things like annual reports in Ministries to show what worked in the previous year that is not working now to contribute to the presence of that appalling monster within our borders.
I will tell you why I am getting poorer myself.

Lack of basics

Water
The access to clean, potable water by every citizen would halve the level of poverty by a huge 50%. Think about the amount of time, money and manpower just wasted looking for this liquid. Not to mention preventable diseases that are passed on through contaminated water.
From the rural areas where most of the time is spent between the various rivers and boreholes, to the urban areas where a lot of money is spent on plastic storage containers that cost an arm and a leg, I actually counted the number of plastic jerry cans, pails and drums I have in the house and came up with a nice round number 24. All in varying sizes; but I also count myself lucky because I only get to use them once a year when there is a water crisis. Note too that we have an overhead water tank whose capacity is two days supply of water for normal household usage. If only I had an uninterrupted supply of water I would save KES 15,000.00 in containers. I cannot quantify the amount spent carrying the said containers in the car on your way to work so that you can at least have some water for breakfast the next day. Not to forget the fuel wasted boiling it to kill all the germs; actually once in a while you turn on the tap and gasp at the muddy concoction coming out of it.

Shelter
I think there are rules and bylaws governing what should qualify as a house and am not talking about slum areas. There should be some enforcement to it as most of us will not be building any house soon especially in the urban areas where we work. How does someone in his right mind build a house without proper drainage? then subdivide a house to unbelievable pieces; if they could, am sure they would just have space for a single body for the bedroom. As a tenant cannot complain as I need a roof over my head at the end of the day.


Food
A step was taken to clean up the food market places and the result was a collection of thousands of rodents. It sure is by the grace of God that we have not had a breakout of the plague. The local government authorities should be vigilant in ensuring the food we consume is err.. Consumable. Healthy people even if they do not have material possessions are more productive than sickly ones. I am of the opinion that we can produce enough food to feed ourselves and even sell to our neighbors.


Infrastructure.
I cannot begin to count the number of hours I waste every single day sitting in traffic jams that could be sorted very easily by just making the roads smooth and installing lights. I could have studied and finished my degree by now in this time!
We shall not talk about working telephones, hospitals, electricity, mounds of garbage, overflowing drainage and silly floods. The only reason the city centre floods is; the drains are blocked not because the rain is too much. Transportation costs go up haphazardly without any warning eating up my earnings, I cannot walk to work either because the roads were build in such a way that a pedestrian only crosses them. What they do after that is their business as there are no paths on the side, not even for cyclists who have to fight for space in the process several have been killed. In walking I might also get irrigated by the little lakes that form on the roads at the slightest provocation. I shall not mention the process of getting a job even with high qualifications, if you are not well connected forget it.


So Monsieur, the reason I am poor is not because I do not have; is it because the little I have is being used just to ensure that I live to see another day and in the process I cannot even think of developing my potential.

I do not enjoy being poor heck in my wild dreams I want to be an MP just to escape my plight.
Your Take??

A year older

On 15 September 2005 I will have had 10 years experience since attaining the age of majority. 16 / 18 / 21 the choice is yours where you place me. The age thing is a topic for a whole blog as people keep referring to me in terms meant for people in nappies & diapers. My mistake? I do not look the part. What is a girl to do?
If you are next door please holla for a piece of the cake (above).

In anticipation I shall solicit for wishes and gifts as below.

WISH LIST please tick one
Dinner under the stars next to a body of water (taken)
Cars - French, Swede, Landrover 109 Green.
Cash, vouchers, coupons, cheques all accepted *wink* nione kando
Chocolate - white, Swiss, nut and fruit laden
Music - I love opera, gospel, jazz, samba, traditional Kenyan folk music (nyatiti, ohangla), Chopin, Mozart; Beethoven Tchaikovsky, would not mind a violoncello or a baby piano
Cruise on the Queen Mary II
Jewelry - Silver my birthstone is ruby/sapphire
Holiday - Dream destinations Paris; Venice; Rabat; Mauritius, Lamu; Addis Ababa; Sao Paulo
No mechanical gadgets that have to be assembled.
No alcoholic beverages
A nice; warm hug that makes my littlest toe curl, from you. You know yourself!

Should you find the above list preposterous kindly note that the above items are redeeming in future should you ever be on the erring side.

VOTE OF THANKS
I would like to thank the Good Lord for granting me an opportunity to get to know you. Yes YOU, if you are reading this it is!
To thank you for having featured prominently in my address book, thoughts, blog, fantasies, nightmares and line of vision.
Before I get mushy and woozy over this what I just want to say in so many words is you have been an inspiration to me even when you are not aware of it. You make my days a tad little brighter and bearing the burden of life a little lighter on my small shoulders.
And in your own unique ways we are building a better person of each other (I hope!!)
Some just encourage me to go own the slippery slope providing the motivation and giving reasons like enjoy the ride, other push me uphill giving me the courage, shoulders, and something to pull at apart from my hair,
Thank you for just being you to me.


In spite of all that goes on around us, it is important to be grateful for that which we have, counting our blessings as we go along because if you are still alive at the end of any day, things are working more for you than against you.
A special mention to:

My other half: I should now be in the league of wise women. Thank you for everything, would need an acre or two to put down what I really want to say to you but I think "I love you" will do.

Nyumi: You might catch up with me at the rate you are going. Thank you for filling my life with so much joy, my heart could burst
M: A woman needs a friend like you if only you could stop pulling fast ones I cannot keep up. You are truly appreciated. And when I say my a*s!! that is an expletive not a body part to be found desirable.
Mommy Daddy, my three sisters and two brothers; my world is a little brighter each time I think of you thanks for everything.

To be a CEO

I was reading last week's East African Standard Executive's article on women CEOs. Really interesting article that had me thinking about my future in the working world as a woman.
The debate still goes on; on whether balancing career , marriage and motherhood and a lot of other things that I am as a woman is possible.
Whether there is a part that will have to suffer, mostly my children when I am away at work, or my work will have to suffer as I attend parents day meetings.
New insight here was maybe women do not want to be CEOs as we know them.

My take
Maybe I am not ambitious as one would be apt to conclude but do I really REALLY want to be CEO? The money, power and respect that come with the package is good. But...

I love what I do every day between 9am and 5pm I have a wonderful working environment and a fabulous employer but am I thinking in the line of being CEO in the next 10, 20 years? Not many people would state the above regarding their workplace. I have been lucky to have good people as bosses and fortunately they change every two years so we never get familiar and contemptuous then again French people have the most family friendly working environment.

An honest off the cuff answer to the question would be no. Because I what it involves might not be suited to the person I am.
The kind of company I work for is male dominated and executive positions involve a lot of travel. I mean the kind of travel that would have your head spinning.
If I were to climb the ladder today I have two choices
-Change countries
-Or stay home but with around 150 days in a year in my home country. The rest of the time would be spent traveling. This would involve training in a totally different field too.
I have come to redefine work to myself as a means to an end.
In working I exercise my capabilities, developing them in the process and earn a living. I do not find work an end in itself. I do not believe in slaving having 12 hour days, and look forward to clocking off at 5.00 pm to wear my other face. The person and not the cog in the corporate wheel.
The cog exists because of the person and not the other way round. I would still be; even if the cog for any reason ceased to exist.
It is difficult being a working woman especially here in Kenya where workers rights are ignored and most of us do not even know we have rights. Just the other week I was being told of someone who on starting work was informed that company policy dictated no leave days were to be taken for the first two years. Huh?? We shall not even go to the flower farms with their pathetic working conditions and peanut pay for huge profits.
Every woman has a story to tell about lecherous bosses and co-workers.
Mine involved a prospective employer who had a bed in the office adjoining his. Maybe he believed siestas taken together were a requirement for maximum employee performance.
As a working Kenyan woman I think we still have a long way to go before we think of becoming CEOs.
Not that we do not have the capabilities maybe as the writer says our priorities are different. Boardroom haggling and the dirty games boys play with each other. It takes a lot of spunk to be there and stay sane while there.
And to the ones who have made it there I root for you. At least we have people to model ourselves after.

Snippets
It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. -George H. Lorimer, editor (1868-1937)