When you're in love with a beautiful woman

When you're in love with a beautiful woman
It's hard
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You know it's hard
Everybody wants her
Everybody loves her
Everybody wants to take your baby home

When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You watch your friends
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
It never ends
You know that it's crazy
You want to trust her
Then somebody hangs up when you answer the phone

When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You go it alone
Maybe it's just an ego problem
Problem is, I've been fooled before
By fair weathered friends and faint hearted lovers
And every time it happens
It just convinces me more

When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You watch her eyes
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You look for lies
Everybody tempts her
Everybody tells her
She's the most beautiful woman they know
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You go it alone
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You watch your friends
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You watch her eyes
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You keep looking for lies
Dr. Hook
When You're In Love With a Beautiful Woman


I heard this song today morning on my way to work and it explained a lot of things; sorry am naive and all but isn't trust a key ingredient to man-woman relationships?
And if you have friends (the man) who you cannot trust to keep their paws to themselves especially when the significant other is is involved are they worth keeping.
I thought (REALLY!) that a woman your friend has dated is a no go zone if you are to keep your friendship but then again this is just me.


A really painful chapter of my life that I prefer to keep under lock and key comes to mind. If you have been reading along you know this woman had zero knowledge of men and their wily ways.
Now this guy was absolutely crazy about me.

Or so I thought until he started telling me not to wear certain stuff and not to talk to certain people and to throw a tantrum if I ever so much as smiled at his friends, then did not approve of my friends because they would want me to go out and do things with them. (huh!!)

I found it really cute that he was this possessive and would just drive him up the wall for laughs.
The crunch came when I was accused of infidelity with one of his closest buddies. You know the one who was always with him on our nights out on the town, who would come and pick me from home if he was held up in the office, so we would link up later. The one who knew my birthday and would remember to buy flowers to save his neck as he would have forgotten. The one who would sit by his side if they ever came to ask my parents for my hand in marriage (yea I believe that is important) and would have been the best man on our wedding day.

There were threats of violence to be meted out on me as my side of the story would not get a decent hearing. Scared out of my wits, I ran for cover.

That was my rude introduction to the world of dating, courting and having an ex.

I look back and wonder if I had ended up with him as my life companion where would I be??

I prefer to think the best of everyone I deal with. Fortunately no one has ever let me down.
To all the men out there, there are good straightforward beautiful women who love you for what you are and will not keep looking for better options while with you.
All you have to do is find them.

Have y'all a nice weekend.

Oh My gOd!!!

Up Close ...2

I have always wished I had an older brother. Not sister.
If I had one, am sure I would have had it easier negotiating the tumultuous waters of growing up, dating and all.


OK this is in hindsight because you just never know till you do (cliché but what the heck).
To say that it took a while to understand the unfairer gender is an understatement.
I was the first child my parents ever had to deal with and they did a thorough job on me. Actually they did it so well that the rest who came after me got away with murder every time. The rules as applied to me dictated that I never related with anyone outside our compound so from school would be under house arrest until the next day. This I gather was not done with a bad heart (roho safi huh!!) or even in bad way but to guard me from undesirable influence from the neighbors children who were (as usual) less than ideal.
As a result I discovered the love of the printed word.
Books.
Inside the black and white pages I could travel far and wide and live adventures that my peers could only imagine. By age nine I was reading the daily papers and enjoying them immensely. Then came them novels famous five, secret sevens, Nancy drews and all.

What my parents had not taken into account is that a girl needs to be all round. Thus a bookworm was born. Top of the class each time brilliant kabisa but a hopeless social animal. I was painfully shy, still am up to this day but sure there are some things that you acquire with age like acceptance of the self.

My conversational skills were limited to subjects in class; I did not know what children my age were up to. By the time I was leaving primary school I had read each and every book in the school library and more from my book minded friends.

Yes even the ones in Kiswahili AND the dictionaries.
I still have that quirky habit of reading dictionaries not only when I want to learn new words but to pass time. Of course I passed KCPE top of the district and an aunty of mine remarked I will have to move districts if I was ever to find a husband because men do not take beating by JUST a girl lightly.

Then came the turbulent years. I have never understood thehullabalooo about adolescence because to me it was just another period in time. Secondary school was OK just another haven for them bookworms to devour the libraries. And I devour I did.

Being in a girls only boarding school is safe fun and I will take my children through it wapende wasipende. I cherish the friends I made to this day who opened my hitherto closed eyes to things like make up, boys, music and true friendship. I discovered my talents thanks to my crazy music teacher who made me sing a solo at a national concert WITH my nose fully blocked- the result of a cold. She then proceeded to tell me it was beautiful. She was right. I have a certificate to show for it.

It was here too that I learnt to be extremely naughty. That there were rewards to not toeing the line likeuncontrolablee giggles after lights out when the matron comes to check the music she heard playing one minute ago and mutters to herself when she finds everybody asleep.
"I must be hearing things!"

The crunch came at 18 years of age when fresh out of school results are out and having 11 months to burn before joining campus the neighborhood crawlies jump on me. These particular species love innocent pretty fresh faces that just a few years ago were climbing trees with them. Yes I climbed trees and a few other things when the parents were not looking.

I had not a clue how to interact with them. Stereotypes did me in here and still do today.
A woman is not meant to........ /fill in with appropriate clauses/

To my consternation my plainspeak ( as opposed to double speak) was my undoing.
I once spent less than one hour talking to my (oh so cute male ) neighbor at our front yard, you know catching up and all where he has been and enjoying myself immensely, the next I heard we were getting married to each other. The courtship missed me, the-bride-to-be completely.
Of course being me I started thinking what in the world was wrong with
a. me
b. the people around me
c. the world???

So if I had an older brother he might have clued me in on the workings of the male mind at the rudimentary level. alas never did.

My dates were disastrous to say the least because I was prudish and believed very strongly in not starting fires that were not meant to be quenched. I could not stand someone encroaching on my personal space and pretending it was a game and many an argument started on
"You touched my ....... Why?"

I am really glad I waited for the right time, it was worth it.
BTW the men might clue me in " What attracts you to a woman?"

I seem to be getting undue share of attention from unwanted quarters and this proves harder to deal with as days go by.
On a good day the catcalls & whistles are OK. Makes me feel good and all about being a woman.
It is the indecent proposals that I cannot handle considering am off the shelf aie!

Missing limb

I am feeling a little under the weather today.
Reason, a martian I hold dear is moving away for a long while.
I would love bawl my eyes out because I feel bereft. I dare not start because I am a terrible cry baby. I cry when I am happy, sad, excited, demoralized. I cried at my wedding, cry at funerals, and parties, actually any time is cry time so turn on the waterworks.

This particular tendency has been seen to create discomfort in people who seem not to understand that the appearance of tears is not an emergency, I do not need a doctor neither am I in physical pain.
BTW the tears are silent and do not alert anyone out of a striking distance of their presence.


The very first time you meet a person you start saying goodbye because despite all the best laid plans of mice and men you never know if there ever will be another day to see them smile and share the same space.

M*( not thinker) and I were just getting past stage C to stage B as per M's progression of men- women friendship, and I am not sure the distance is going to help any.

People , I have noticed tend to change a lot within time and space. Am being very selfish here as I would have wanted him all to myself. There is not the remotest possibility of progression to A as the vacancy is taken both ways but it is still nice to know someone apart from the obvious ones would care to tell you to change your route home as there are riots in the city centre.

Sort of like having a guardian angel, and ego booster, someone to laugh at your really weird jokes, a brother without the blood shed, someone to run my ideas on the male species by without threats of extinction, someone good, just one

The interesting part was we actually succeeded in getting past the attraction bit but decided not to venture there. So were purely friends without the need to JUSTify it. Ok honestly wish wish, friends are supposed to keep out dia/systolic pressure to a minimum but once in a while drive you up the wall; sob sob,

These truncated lyrics captured the way I feel

I'm watching the raindrops as they fall
Feels like the sky is crying
If only my eyes were not so cruel
Then maybe the tears would show you
I know they'd fill up an ocean
If I could set them free
If only you could see
If only I could cry
No one has cared enough before
To tell me or write it down in words
And no one has reached me like you do
And I want the world to know that
If you don't see a teardrop falling
Help me set them free
I've got to make you see
If only I could cry
My tears would fill up an ocean
If I could set them free
If only you could see
If only I could cry

© Copyright 1999 J. Albert & Son Pty Ltd.

Bon Courage

It takes courage to smile when the world is dark.
And the sun just refuses to shine,
When you've lost your way and your heart is sad
And the path is an upward climb.

It takes courage to hope when your hope is gone
And nothing just seems to be right,
Today just an echo of yesterdays gone
With naught but the darkness of night.

It takes courage to dream when your mind is adrift
And a weariness enters your soul...
When you long for contentment and peace in your heart
But can't seem to conquer your goal.

It takes courage to smile,
it takes courage to hope
A courage when all else is gone,
When clouds overshadow the sun in your sky,
It takes courage to smile and go on.

Communication breakdown

Communication
"The interchange of ideas or objects between two people or terminals. More precisely the definition of communication is the consideration and action of impelling an impulse or particle from source point across a distance to receipt point, with the intention of bringing into being at the receipt point a duplication and understanding of that which emanated from the source point. "The formula of communication is: Cause, Distance, Effect, with Intention, Attention and Duplication with Understanding." "Communication by definition does not need to be two-way. Communication is one of the component parts of understanding."

It is said the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

So, from now henceforth I shall endeavor to do everything with evil intentions. I shall wish nobody good day/morning because my definition of good and theirs might be different.
I resolve to be as difficult as possible rendering everyone within reach physical or otherwise insane. I want them to learn how to communicate by duplicating the scenario I have in my mind and theirs to achieve the goal of communication which is to communicate.

I shall in addition formulate a language of mathematical precision which leaves no room for doubt on the exact meaning of a particular phrase with or without punctuation. Alternatively I will learn sign language. I am sure it is not as open to interpretation as the four I normally operate in.

This dearest, has come as a result of numerous soul wrenching occasions when I have been misunderstood. What I lack in diction I try making up for in expression. The result has been the same. People always pick what they want to hear in my words, sentences and paragraphs and in accuse me of saying things I do not even in my dreams say to anybody.

And since there was no recording of the actual conversation I realise two weeks later when the subjects concerned are no longer talking to me. The first instance I excuse the furtive glances but after two or three encounters it occurs to me that there is something totally wrong.

You see I am human and I can only stay so by keeping in touch with other humans.
(Scientific theories have proven this OK??)
I love plants and animals but I need human companions.

There is nothing I enjoy more than a naughty SMS in the morning, or a phone call late in the night from a cherished friend. Nothing lights up my boring workday more that the bip on my computer 'you have got new mail' It does not matter how mundane the subject is , maybe those funny recycled forwards that I have read twenty two times and some. And everytime I go into my blog I love hearing from you guys. The others are an affirmation that I really exist even though I have no idea what realm we all exist in. This is for the philosophers to decipher. Now a cat would not do any of the above things would it/s/he?

Companions = me in communication with others = minefield
So I want to wish everyone within hearing distance a terrible day.
I am having one misunderstood one because of something that was entirely not my fault. I admit I have been naughty of late but I broke none of the ten commandments.
I am sitting here with my life threatening to fall apart because of a phonecall.
That was not even made by me or for me!!!!!
On that note get thee behind me Satan
Ushindwe pamoja na watoto wako wote.

The Wi-min

But then again we all knew that.

Non-post

Kapisch?
OK here we go
- How is it that someone of whose existence you were not aware a year ago suddenly becomes the most important person in your life in a short while? You feel amputated of a non existent limb when they leave and feel whole when they are around?
Maybe someone more experienced in these things might be able to explain this to me.

- I refuse to believe that fathers have nothing better to do than lust after their own daughters and sons, fruits of their loins. Whenever a reputable media house takes information and twists it in such a way that the wrong thing is being focused on, I feel very sad. Rape is a crime. And should be treated as such.

-Kenyans abroad investment fund. I love this. Really. But I am thinking there is a catch somewhere which sooner or later shall come out.
-I finally discovered I am not a jealous woman which is not necessarily a good thing but jealousy has never been virtuously looked at by all I know.
- G8 summit: a lot of paper, noise and bytes have gone into this loathsome subject. What I really wonder is what would the rest of the world who are so keen on owning Africa's poverty do if the Africans told them to scram and leave us to ourselves. Isn't it funny that the division in the continent is so much you cannot fly directly to Luanda from Nairobi for example and I do not understand why. It is much easier to travel to Europe than within Africa.
Why aren't we trading with each other in Africa?
And why oh why do we have that funny substance masquerading as sugar on the supermarket shelves. I thought when you import something it should be a better quality than what you have locally. Shows am still to learn the tools of trade.

Finally .....
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill.
In the room of 200, he asked, who would like this $20 bill? Hands started going up.

He said, I am going to give this to one of you, but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple the bill up.
He then asked who still wants it?

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, what if I do this? He dropped it on the ground, and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
Now, who still wants it? Still hands went into the air.
My friends, you all have learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it, because, it did not decrease in value. It was still worth 20 dollars.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

We feel that we are worthless, but, no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value, dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives come not in what we do, or whom we know, but by who we are.
You are special don't ever forget it!

Always count your blessings, not your problems.